I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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