I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
