69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
