Non-Jews are for practice
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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