haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize