I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
