White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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