It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize