Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
