Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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