Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you win again, gameday.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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