Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
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