hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
