You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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