I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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