We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
