have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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