VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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