he wants to bone in the snuggie
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize