I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize