I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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