Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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