I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
