this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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