Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
