Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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