Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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