Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
