just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
