What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize