your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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