thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
