I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
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A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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