Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
