all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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