you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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