So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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