thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
