Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
