Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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