did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
