I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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