I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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