You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
