someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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