i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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