She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
