I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
