She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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