I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize