So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
