Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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