It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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