I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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