I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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