YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
