Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
