brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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