You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
my poor anus
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
