Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
