maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
