A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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