do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
