I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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